When you spend half of your life with the same person, when you find your space is within his space, when you build something together, and for as long as you remember, he will always be with you. And when it's not, you don't know how to live. There is a hole, a gap, a space that suddenly empties, and you start questioning whether it was your fault.
Kikuchi Fuma spent his youth in front of the camera. He loves that, he loves being an idol, singing, dancing, and rapping. He accepted that he debuted quite early, with kids younger than him. The whole in their debut days, Fuma realized he was being jerked, an ass. He didn't ooze that fun and approachable image. But it started to change; he found his own pace, his own image, his own life. If Fuma could say, it was because someone that always by his side, even when he was the worst person on earth.
Thinking back, Fuma takes everything for granted. And to be fair, Nakajima Kento is a saint for putting up with him. But those times were over. The day Kento walked from his life, that day will forever be engraved in Fuma's mind. But he didn't blame Kento, not ever, because he knew he was the one to blame, for the time Kento stayed by his side, and when he decided to live, no one else could be blamed than him.
If Fuma could be honest, he was still thinking about the older, of course, he spent half his life with him, he can't just erase that person from his memory, it was engraved deeply. Funny thing, even though it's over, Fuma knows it's over, but he still reminisces of their day when they were standing on the same stages, when they were back to back singing their verse. Fuma still thinks the same old thing; the image of Kento never once faded from his mind, like it was fresh, just happened yesterday. Include the day when Kento said his goodbye, that tear-stained face, Fuma couldn't even forget a second of it.
Fuma knows he, himself, is such a jerk. He blamed it on the fact that he is young and he doesn't understand the world. But Fuma also questions why he and Kento never worked out. Deeply fuma wants to ask whether Kento ever slightly liked him, romantically, but again, he is just too cowardly. He doesn't know how to treat people, he doesn't know how to treat Kento, and maybe for once, Fuma wants to blame him for being a youth instead of blaming himself because he just doesn't know how to treat Kento.
Back then, Fuma knew that being childish was a way to get attention from Kento. But looking back, maybe it was the thing that Kento didn't like. Kento doesn't need the burden of taking care of a kid. So when Kento moved away, Fuma started changing his approach. Once, he didn't know how to talk in words, and could only write in lyrics; he used it as his weapon. Now his lyrics were beautiful, moved in a good ambiance. Hidden meaning between those lines. He is no longer that jerk character; he lowers himself in those prank TV shows, but then he also shows how he is indeed growing. Fuma hoped Kento had watched Timelesz Project, so he could see how Fuma had now become more mature. Because maybe, if Kento sees him now, he might love him.
Fuma thought Kento might love him if he were more mature; he doesn't need additional emotional baggage, and maybe, just maybe, they could be in love.
Fuma watch the documentary for a seconds, a sentence from kento hit him right away, "It will be fun if we met someday," because, just because, id we might meet like kento said, then that day will be the day that it meant to be, just maybe, on that day, kento could love him back, right?
Day by day, Fuma did his best; he do know sometimes he slipped into the negativity outside, but that's how it is. Some other time, Fuma is looking at his schedule in hope, waiting for a new schedule that could be a possibility when he finally can meet with Kento. The other, he wished that he were good enough, and if maybe they are truly meant to be, love will be the ending of the story.
But then, Fuma arrived in another possible scenario. What if, no matter how long he waits, for their time to meet, it just never meant to be? What if even he is more mature, getting better, and Kento and he will never meet again? Seems like their time together is already finished, and there is no line in their life where they are going to meet again. Afraid, there is indeed no second chance. And it was the end before it even began. When the time comes, will he even be looked at?
It haunted Fuma a lot, whether they ever have a chance, if he ever met again with Kento, he can't help to wait, but also realistically speaking, the chance is smaller and smaller. more likely chance they haven't ever met. He doesn't want to wait, but he also cant help to wait. That someday, maybe Kento will come back.
Just maybe, maybe if they are really meant to be together, they might have love as their ending